Gear Middle Eastern Special: Top

And James May? He bought a 1996 Fiat Barchetta. A tiny, flimsy, Italian two-seater that looked like a ballet shoe. "It is the prettiest car here," he noted, peering at the engine. "It also appears to be leaking all of its bodily fluids onto this pristine hotel driveway." The Middle East special is not about driving. It is about survival. As the trio crossed from the UAE into Oman, the ambient temperature hit 48 degrees Celsius.

In a moment of genuine pathos, the three men stood on the roof of Clarkson’s BMW, staring at the vast, empty horizon. There was no traffic. No sound. Just the wind and the ticking of hot metal.

"One cannot describe this heat," Clarkson narrated, wiping his brow with a sock. "This is the heat you feel when you open an oven to check on a pizza, except the pizza is you, and the oven is the entire planet."

"Traction," May explained, laying the carpet under the wheels. "It’s the same principle as the Egyptians using logs to build the pyramids. Except we are idiots, and the pyramids are a 1996 Fiat Barchetta."