The splash screen hangs for 347 milliseconds—an eternity in 2010-time. The ribbon renders: , Workflow , External Content Type . Each icon a fossil of on-premises ambition. 64-bit addressing means nothing if the data source is a dying Access database on a forgotten file share.
In the end, you export the site as a .WSP. Visual Studio 2010 refuses to open it. You rename it to .CAB, extract manually, and cry over the Elements.xml. The 64-bit world promised more memory, not more sense. sharepoint designer 2010 x64
.XSN files linger in a document library no one can delete. Rules fire out of order. Browser forms render only in IE 8. The data connection file (.UDCX) points to a SQL Server that was decommissioned last June. But Designer 2010 still tries. It always tries. The splash screen hangs for 347 milliseconds—an eternity
“Cannot check out file. The file may be locked by another user.” There is no other user. The farm is yours alone. SharePoint Timer Jobs run on a VM whose host was last patched during the Obama administration. You attach to w3wp.exe. Breakpoint at SPWorkflowManager.RunWorkflow . Nothing happens. The breakpoint is a prayer. 64-bit addressing means nothing if the data source
If you’d like, I can also produce a technical parody (fake error dialog, “fix” script, or mock upgrade guide) in the same style.