And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The flight attendant comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean, Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

Nevertheless, for many, the poem offers a crucial first step: permission to grieve the Italy they expected, while opening their eyes to the tulips in front of them. If you are a parent, a grandparent, or a medical professional, keep a few copies folded in your bag or desk drawer. You can easily copy the text below (ensuring you credit Emily Perl Kingsley) and paste it into a word processor. Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things… about Holland. Whether you frame it, fold it into a wallet, or simply tape it to the wall, the printable Holland poem remains a lifeline. It validates the loss without abandoning the hope. And sometimes, on the hardest days, that is exactly the map a parent needs.