John hated it. He tried everything: scowling harder, breaking more things, even getting a tattoo across his knuckles that read “BEAST.” But when a man twice his size called him “John Baby” in a bar, John just sighed and bought him a drink. Because the truth was, he didn’t want to be a monster. He wanted to be someone who could still cry in his mother’s kitchen.
One winter, his mother got sick. Really sick. John sat by her hospital bed for three weeks, holding her hand. The crew called. He didn’t answer. The debts went uncollected. The threats went unanswered. He just sat there, feeding her ice chips, telling her stories about the pigeons on the fire escape. john baby
The boss laughed. “You can’t be out, John Baby.” John hated it
John looked him in the eye. For the first time in his life, he didn’t clench his fists. “Try me,” he said softly. He wanted to be someone who could still
John didn’t cry at the funeral. He didn’t cry at the wake. He went back to his empty apartment, sat on the floor, and finally let it out—great, heaving sobs that shook the walls. The next morning, he walked into the crew’s headquarters, laid his brass knuckles on the table, and said, “I’m out.”
